FAVORITE "STAR TREK" QUOTES PART ONE (12/1/92): 
  "STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES"
  COMPILED BY JEFF "KOGANUTS" KOGA


Kirk: "Space, the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the Starship
  Enterprise.  Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out
  new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."
--"The Corbomite Manuever", Stardate

McCoy: "What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?"
--"The Corbomite Manuever", Stardate

Sulu: "I'll save you, fair maiden."
--"The Naked Time", Stardate

Uhura: "Sorry, neither!"
--"The Naked Time", Stardate

Uhura: "Don't you think I'd shut if off if I could?!"
--"The Naked Time", Stardate

Kirk: "You're not going to admit that, for the first time in your life, you made
  a completely emotional decision based on desperation?"
Spock: "No, sir."
Kirk: "Mister Spock, you're a stubborn man!"
Spock: "Yes, sir."
--"The Galileo Seven", Stardate

Spock: "The women!"
--"The Menagerie", Stardate

Keeper: "Captain Pike has illusion, and you have reality.  May you find your way
  as pleasant."
--"The Menagerie", Stardate

Spock: "There is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder."
--"A Taste Of Armageddon", Stardate

Kirk: "You belong in a circus...right next to the dog-faced boy!"
--"This Side Of Paradise", Stardate

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer."
--"The Devil In The Dark", Stardate

Spock: "Insufficient facts always invites danger, Captain."
--"Space Seed", Stardate

Kirk: "We both guessed right.  Negotiations with the Klingon Empire on the verge
  of breaking down.  Starfleet Command anticipates a surprise attack.  We are to
  proceed to Organia, and take whatever steps are necessary to prevent the
  Klingons from using it as a base."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Kirk: "Organia's description, Mister Spock."
Spock: "Inhabited by humanoids, a very peaceful, friendly people, living on a
  primitive level.  Little of instrinsic value, approximately Class D-Minus on
  the Richter Scale of Cultures."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Kirk: "Another Armenia, Belgium..."
Spock: "Sir?"
Kirk: "The weak innocents...they always seem to be located on the natural
  invasion routes."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Kirk: "Well, we've been anticipating an attack.  I'd say what we've just
  experienced very nearly qualifies."
Spock: "Yes, it would seem to be an *unfriendly* act."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Uhura: "Automatic all-points relay from Starfleet Command, Captain.  Code One."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Kirk: "Well there it is...war.  We didn't want it, but we've got it."
Spock: "Curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not
  want."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Spock: "Negotiating with the Organians will be time-consuming, Captain.  And
  time is the one thing we'll have the least of."
Kirk: "Well, we won't get it by talking, Mister Spock."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Kirk: "The trigger's been pulled.  We have to get there before the hammer
  falls."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate Unknown

Kirk: "Captain's Log, Stardate 3198.4.  We have reached Organia and established 
  standard orbit.  No signs of hostile activities in this area."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4

Kirk: "Mister Spock and I are going down to the planet's surface.  You will be
  in command.  Your responsibility is to the *Enterprise*, not to us, is that
  clear?"
Sulu: "Perfectly, sir."
Kirk: "A Klingon fleet is in this quadrant.  We know that Organia will be a
  target.  If they should emerge..."
Sulu: "We'll handle them, sir."
Kirk: "You will *evaluate* the situation.  If there is a fleet of them, you'll
  get out of here, Mister Sulu."
Sulu: "But, uh, Captain--"
Kirk: "No 'but's.  You'll get to safety and alert the fleet.  You will *not*
  attack alone.  Mister Spock and I will be all right."
Sulu: [Nods yes]
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4

Kirk: "Mister Spock, let's you and I pay the Organians a visit."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "You'd think they have people beaming down everyday."
Spock: "Yes, curious lack of interest." 
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4

Aelborne: "Welcome."
Kirk: "Reception committee?"
Spock, "It would seem so."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Aelborne: "You are our visitors.  Welcome, welcome." 
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4

Aelborne: "I am Aelborne."
Kirk: "I am Captain James T. Kirk, of the Starship Enterprise, representing the
  United Federation of Planets.  This is my first officer, Mister Spock."
Aelborne: [To Spock]  "You're most welcome, my friend."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4

Kirk: "I would like to speak to someone in authority."
Aelborne: "We, we don't have anybody in authority.  But I am the chairman of
  the Council of Elders, perhaps I will do.
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4

Kirk: "Gentlemen, my government has informed me that the Klingons are expected
  to move against your planet, with the objective of making it a base of
  operations against the Federation.  My mission, frankly, is to, uh, keep them
  from doing that."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Aelborne: "What you're saying, Captain, is that we seem to have a choice between
  dealing with you or your enemies."
Kirk: "No, sir.  With the Federation, you have a choice.  You have none with the
  Klingons.  The Klingons are a military dictatorship.  War is their way of
  life.  Life under the Klingon rule would be very unpleasant."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "We offer you protection."
Aelborne: "We have no defenses, Captain, nor are any needed."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "Gentlemen, I have seen what the Klingons do to planets like yours.  They
  are organized into vast slave labor camps.  No freedoms whatsoever.  Your
  goods will be confiscated.  Hostages taken and killed.  Your leaders confined.
  You'd be far better on a penal planet, infinitely better off."
Aelborne: "Captain, we see that your concern is genuine, and we are moved.  But
  again, we assure you that we are absolutely in no danger.  If anybody is in
  danger, you are.  And that concerns us greatly.  It would be better if you'd
  return to your ship as soon as possible."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "You keep insisting that there's no danger, I keep assuring you that there
  is.  Would you mind telling me--"
Aelborne: "It is our way of life, Captain."
Kirk: "That's the first thing that will be lost!"
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "I'm a soldier, not a diplomat.  I can only tell you the truth."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4

Spock: "Captain, our information on these people and their culture is not
  correct.  This is not a primitive society making progress toward
  mechanization.  They are totally stagnant.  There is no evidence of any
  progress as far back as my tricorder can register."
Kirk: "That doesn't seem likely."
Spock: "Nevertheless, it is true.  For tens of thousands of years, there's been
  absolutely no advancement, no significant change in their physical
  environments.  This is a laboratory specimen of an arrested culture."
Kirk: "Thank you, Mister Spock, that might be useful."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "Gentlemen, I must get you to reconsider.  We can be of immense help to
  you.  In addition to military aid, we can send you specialists, technicians.
  We can show you how to feed a thousand people where one was fed before.  We
  can help you builds schools, educate the young in the latest technological and
  scientific skills.  Your public facilities are almost nonexistent.  We can
  help you remake your world.  End disease, hunger, hardship.  All we ask in
  return is that you let us help you.  Now..."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Aelborne: "Captain, since it is too late for you to escape, perhaps we should
  do something about protecting you."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "How does he know that?"
Aelborne: "Oh, our friend Trefayne is really quite intuitive.  You can rest
  assured that what he says is absolutely correct."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3198.4 

Kirk: "So, we're stranded here, in the middle of a Klingon occupation army."
Spock: "So it would seem.  Not a very pleasant prospect."
Kirk: "You have a gift for understatement, Mister Spock.  It's not a very
  pleasant prospect at all."  
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardaet 3198.4

Kirk: "Captain's Log, Stardate 3201.7.  Mister Spock and I are trapped on the
  planet Organia, which is in the process of being occupied by the forces of the
  Klingon empire.  The Organians have provided us with native clothing in the
  hopes that we may be taken for Organians."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "This is the ruling council?"
Aelborne: "I am Aelborne, temporary head of the council.  I bid you welcome."
Kor: "No doubt you do."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "I am Kor, Military Governor of Organia."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: [To Kirk]  "Who are you?"
Aelborne: "Oh, he is Barona, one of our leading citizens."
Kor: "And he has no tongue?"
Kirk: "I have a tongue."
Kor: "Good.  You will be taught how to use it."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "Where is your smile?"
Kirk: "My what?"
Kor: "The *stupid*, idiotic smile everyone else seems to be wearing."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "A Vulcan?  Do you also have a tongue?"
Spock: "I am Spock, a dealer in kivas and trillium."
Kor: "You do not look like a storekeeper."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "Take this man.  Vulcans are members of the Federation, he may be a spy."
Kirk: "He's no spy!"
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "Well, have we a ram among the sheep?  You object to us taking him?"
Kirk: "He's done nothing.  Nothing at all."
Kor: "Coming from an Organian, yours is practically an act of rebellion.  Very
  good."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: [To council]  "So you welcome me."  [To Kirk]  "Do you also welcome me?"
Kirk: "You are here, there's nothing I can do about it."
Kor: "Good, honest...hatred.  Very refreshing." 
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "However, it makes no difference whether you welcome me or not.  I am here
  and I will stay.  You are now subjects of the Klingon Empire.  You will find
  that there are many rules and regulations, they will be posted.  Violation of
  the smallest of them...will be punished by death."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "You disapprove, Barona."
Kirk: "You need my approval?"
Kor: "I *'need'* your obedience.  Nothing more.  Will I have it?"
Kirk: "You seem to be in command."
Kor: "Yes...I am."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "I don't trust men who smile too much." 
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "You, Barona.  You're the man."
Kirk: "Me?  I don't want the job."
Kor: "Have I *asked* whether or not you want it?"
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "We Klingons have a reputaton for ruthlessness.  You will find that it is
  deserved.  Should one Klingon soldier be killed, a thousand Organians will
  die.  I will have order.  Is that clear?"
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Aelborne: "Commander, I assure you, our people want nothing but peace.  We shall
  cause you no trouble."
Kor: "I am sure you will not."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kirk: "What about Mister Spock?"
Kor: "You are concerned?"
Kirk: "He is my friend."
Kor: "You have a poor choice of friends."
--"Errand of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "He will be examined.  If he is lying, he will die.  If he is telling the
  truth, he will find that business has taken a turn for the worse."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "You do not like to be pushed.  Very good.  You may be a man I can deal
  with, Barona."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "Would you like to try our little truth-finder?"
Kirk: "I don't understand it."
Kor: "It's a mind-sifter...or mind-ripper, depeending on how much force is used.
  We can record every thought, every bit of knowledge in a man's mind.  Of
  course, when that much force is used, the mind is emptied...permanently, I'm
  afraid.  What's left is more vegetable than human."
  Kirk: "And you are proud of this?"
Kor: "It is a tool.  A weapon.  Somewhat drastic, but very efficient.
--"Errand Of Mercy, Stardate 3201.7

Kirk: "Are you sure you're all right?"
Spock: "Perfectly, Barona.  But it was an interesting experience."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kor: "In the meantime, keep the people in order."
Kirk: "Or I will be killed."
Kor: "That is exactly right.  You will be killed."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kirk: "You didn't really think I was going to beat his head in, did you?"
Spock: "I thought you might."
Kirk: "You're right."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kirk: "It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mister Spock."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Kirk: "You were right, Mister Spock.  A most satisfactory display."
--"Errand Of Mercy", Stardate 3201.7

Spock: "I'm attempting to construct a mnemonic memory circuit, using stone
  knives and bearskins."
--"The City On The Edge Of Forever", Stardate 

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist."
--"The City On The Edge Of Forever", Stardate

Kirk: "Let's get the hell out of here."
--"The City On The Edge Of Forever", Stardate

Kirk: "Spock, comment."
Spock: "Very bad poetry."
--"Catspaw", Stardate

Kirk: "Well, at least we have them all together."
Spock: "Fortuitous, Captain."
--"Catspaw", Stardate

Uhura: "It's a big galaxy, Mister Scott."
Scott: "Aye."
--"Metamorphosis", Stardate

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not an escalator."
--"Friday's Child", Stardate

Spock: "'Oochy woochy coochy coo'?"
--"Friday's Child", Stardate

McCoy: "To coin a phrase...'fascinating'."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Scott: "Leave her alone!"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Scott: "She's not going with you!"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "Besides, you stiff-necked thistle-head, you could've gotten yourself
  killed."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Apollo: "Even for a god there's a point of no return"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

McCoy: "Spock's contaminating this boy, Jim."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "Mister Chekov, I think you've earned your pay for the week."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

McCoy: "Number One on our list of things to do."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "All right, Mister!  You wanted worshippers?  You've got enemies!  You
  wanted us to worship--"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "Most mythology has its basis in fact."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Apollo: "Approach me!"
Kirk: "We're busy!"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "We're tired of your phony fireworks!"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Palamas: "Please don't hurt them.  Please."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Chekov: "Perhaps I can assist."
Kirk: "How old are you?"
Chekov: "Twenty-two, sir."
Kirk: "Then I'd better handle it."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "All right, Lieutenant, you can come down from Mount Olympus now."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "Lieutenant, you have your orders and your duty."
Palamas: "Yes, sir.  My orders...and my duty."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Apollo: "I am Apollo.  I've chosen you."
Palamas: "I'm sure that's very flattering..."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Palamas: "Love you?  Illogical.  I'm not some kind of shepherdess you can awe."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

McCoy: "What the devil is that?"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Apollo: "Did I ask for so much?"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Apollo: "Take me.  Take me.  Take me..."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

McCoy: "I wish we hadn't had to do this."
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

Kirk: "Would it have hurt us a little just to gather few laurel leaves?"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

[How can the Enterprise crew spend the rest of their lives on Apollo's planet?]
Apollo: "Kill a deer!"
--"Who Mourns For Adonais?", Stardate

McCoy: "'Doctor, if you don't cease your meddling, I will most certainly break
  your neck!'
--"Amok Time", Stardate

Kirk: "Well, are you a doctor or aren't you?"
--"Amok Time", Stardate

Spock: "Humans have no conception."
--"Amok Time", Stardate

Spock: "After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing as
  wanting.  It is not logical, but it is often true."
--"Amok Time", Stardate

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
--"The Doomsday Machine", Stardate

Kirk: "Gentlemen, *beam* me aboard."
--"The Doomsday  Machine", Stardate

Kirk: "We come in peace."
--"The Apple", Stardate

Scott: "I guess you'll have to fire me, sir."
--"The Apple", Stardate

Kirk: "Mister Spock, do you know anyone on this ship who even remotely resembles
  Satan?"
--"The Apple", Stardate

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not an engineer."
--"The Deadly Years", Stardate

Chekov: "If I live long enough, I'm going to run out of samples."
--"The Deadly Years", Stardate

McCoy: "I'm not a magician, I'm just an old country doctor."
--"The Deadly Years", Stardate

Spock: "Extremely [little] joke, Ensign."
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardat"

Kirk: "On the contrary, sir...it is *you* I take lightly."
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardate

Chekov: "[Scotch] was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad."
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardate

Scott: "He called you a tin-plated, overbearing dictator with delusions of
  Godhood!"
Kirk: "And *that's* when you hit him!"
Scott: "Ah, no, sir.  We're big enough to take a *few* insults!"
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardate

Kirk: "Scotty, you're confined to quarters."
Scott: "Yes, sir.  *Thank you*, sir!  That'll give me a chance to catch up on me
  technical journals!"
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardate

Kirk: "Storage facilities?  Storage facilities?...The what?  The what?"
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardate

Spock: "He heard you.  He simply could not believe his ears."
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardate

Scott: "I beamed the whole kit and kaboodle over to the Klingons' engine room...
  where they'll be no tribble at all."
--"The Trouble With Tribbles", Stardate

Kirk: "I don't want to hurt you."
--"Bread and Circuses", Stardate

McCoy: "Behold!  I am the Archangel Garbriel!"
--"Bread and Circuses", Stardate

Andorian Ambassador: "Devote yourself to motivations of passion."
--"Journey To Babel", Stardate

Amanda: "Oh, that's not a dirty word!"
--"Journey To Babel", Stardate

Spock: "I've never seen him look so happy."
--"Journey To Babel", Stardate

McCoy: "Well, what do you know?  I finally got the last word."
--"Journey To Babel", Stardate

Kirk: "Right, Mister Spock?"
Spock: "Correct, Captain."
Kirk: "Riiiight?"
Spock: "Riiiight."
--"A Piece Of The Action", Stardate

Kirk: "Check?"
Spock: "Right."
--"A Piece Of The Action", Stardate

Kirk: "Right?"
Spock: "Check."
--"A Piece Of The Action", Stardate

Spock: "Sir, you are a superb starship captain.  But as a taxi driver, you leave
  much to be desired."
--"A Piece Of the Action", Stardate

Boy: "Daddy, daddy, I hurt myself!"
Guard: "Whatsa matter kid, you hurt yourself?"
--"A Piece Of The Action", Stardate

Kirk: "Spock, what are the odds of getting a royal fizzbin?"
Spock: "I've never calculated them."
--"A Piece Of The Action", Stardate

Spock: "I would advise youse t'keep dialin', Oxmyx!"
--"A Piece Of The Action", Stardate

Scott: "It's...uh, well...it's green!"
--"By Any Other Name", Stardate

Spock: "Captain Garth..."
Garth: "*Lord* Garth!"
Spock: "As you wish.  In any case..."
--"Whom Gods Destroy", Stardate

Miramanee: "There are no lacings...how is this thing removed?"
--"The Paradise Syndrome", Stardate

Miramanee: "There is much time...for everything."
--"The Paradise Syndrome", Stardate

Salish: "Behold, the god who bleeds!"
--"The Paradise Syndrome", Stardate

McCoy: "Where're you gonna find Spock's brain?"
Kirk: "Is this a trick question, Bones?"
--"Spock's Brain", Stardate

Luma: "You are not Morg...you are not Imorg."
--"Spock's Ban", Stardate

Kara: "Brain and brain!  What is brain?!"
--"Spock's Brain", Stardate

Spock: "While I might trust the doctor to remove a splinter or lance a boil, I
  cannot trust him to replace a brain."
--"Spock's Brian", Stardate

McCoy: "Of course...a child could do it!"
--"Spock's Brian", Stardate

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a coal miner."
--"The Empath", Stardate

McCoy: "I'm not an engineer."
--"The Empath", Stardate

Kirk: "In the heart, in the head, I won't stay dead."
--"Day Of The Dove", Stardate

Spock: "Yet you are pumping him full of your noxious potions, as if he were a
  human."
--"Let That Be Your Last Battlefield, Stardate
--
Jeff "Koganuts" Koga ||"You're not the man I knew ten years ago."
AKA "Indiana" Koga   ||"It's not the years, honey.  It's the mileage."
ukoga@mcl.ucsb.edu   ||--Marion R. & "Indiana" Jones, "Raiders Of The Lost Ark"
Finger animage@ferkel.ucsb.edu for the latest Cal-Animage Gamma information...